8 Things My “Bad-Boy” Brother Taught Me About Death

By Annie Kagan, OmTimes

When my brother Billy woke me three weeks after he died, describing what was happening to him in the afterlife, I thought maybe I had gone a little crazy. How could my bad-boy brother, who died a tragic death, who had problems with addiction all his life, who didn’t live what most people would call a successful life, how could he be sharing secrets about life’s greatest mystery from another dimension? But as time passed, my skepticism turned to wonder as Billy taught me all about death.

The List

1. The First Thing that Happens is Bliss. As soon as you die, you’re sucked out of your body into a Healing Chamber. The lights in that Chamber erase all the harm you suffered during your entire lifetime, physical, mental and emotional. So, in less than a nanosecond, all your pain is gone.

2. You Still Feel Like Yourself. Even though you don’t have your body anymore, you still feel like an individual. Actually, you feel more like yourself than you did when you were alive. There’s so much influence from others while you’re on earth that in a way you don’t get to be you.

3. Light Has a Personality. In the afterlife the light rays have qualities like wisdom, kindness, compassion and intelligence. This light makes visible what is invisible on earth, the Divine nature of all things.

4. Sin and Punishment is a Human Concept. There’s a lot of mumbo jumbo on earth about what might be waiting for you after you die. Making mistakes while you’re alive is part of the earth deal. If we had to be perfect to get to so-called Heaven, no- one would make it there.

5. Your Life On Earth Isn’t a Punishment Either. Sure, there’s pain in life, but not because you’ve done anything to deserve it. Pain is part of the human experience, as natural as breath or eyesight or blood moving through your veins.

6. After You Die, Instead of Judgment Day There’s No-Judgment Day. When you review your life, you see the paths you took and the ones you didn’t. You see where your genius was and where you might have done better, but you don’t feel judgmental about it. And even though it might not make sense to you now, after you die you understand that you had a great life, even the hard parts.

7. You’re Happy You Look Like Yourself. You’re not concerned with the way you look. There are no pretensions or efforts to appear any which way. You just radiate, which is effortless.

8. Love Is Not the Same As Earth Love. You’re not loved because of what you do, how you look, how famous you are, or how much money you make. It’s not like yesterday I loved you, but today I don’t anymore. Love is truly unconditional. Most controversial of all is that in the afterlife there’s perfect compassion and no matter how you lived you are loved.

Things that should come back, that would confuse the “X-Y-Z” Generations…

Pay phones...

Old-fashioned romantic films are essentially an emotional workout. Somewhere between the black and white flicker and the crackle of sound, romantic moments are caught and held captive in our screens, cueing every single girl to sigh and swoon uncontrollably…followed closely by every taken girl sighing and swooning uncontrollably. In this fast-paced millennial life, ambushed by technology, have we somehow lost the excitement of old-school dating?

Here are old-fashioned dating habits that needs to be brought back–and stat.

Limited contact and set-in-stone plans

Imagine trying to ‘court’ without the use of the internet or cell phone for contact. You couldn't over-indulge in sending two or three word texts every minute, and there was no option of sending endless selfies with slightly varying pouts and gradually lessening sunlight as the day rolls on. (That is, unless you wanted to wait a week for photo development after dropping the film off at a chemist. And even then, hand delivering a wad of snaps of your face seems so odd. Let’s not do that)

Plans were made, and stuck to. There was no bailing, no chance of better offers coming in and someone being shunned – dates were scheduled, penned into a planner and kept.

Men of 2014, care to call us with a plan, then, gasp, stick to it?

Gentleman’s etiquette

It still feels magical when you meet a man who holds the door open for you, pulls out a chair and offers to take your coat and bag – as long as you’re not on the street and you realize that someone has very politely stolen your personal belongings.

Our culture means that no subject is off-limits – the media is filled with crass videos, photos and stories of what people have been caught doing, and whilst we’re stuck in a culture where one night stands and flings are totally acceptable, it’s hard to locate someone who won’t be expecting that from you, or for you to be expected to openly talk about innately personal things because “that’s what everyone else talks about.”

When was the last time you spoke about anything other than someone else’s relationship, or what someone else is doing? Have we lost the ability to have a conversation about thoughts and ideas, instead of just making commentaries on someone else’s life?

Saving clothes for ‘best’

I am still reminded by my mum to “keep clothes for best.” And the majority of the time, I can see her logic – like when I inadvertently tan my clothes instead of my body whilst making the well-informed decision to wear a white shirt whilst applying self-tanner.

There’s a little luxury in keeping some items for ‘special occasions.’ I’m not ashamed to say that I have a dress hanging in my closet waiting for when I meet that guy for that date assuming I haven’t had an awful self-tanning accident with it before that time comes.

Dancing under disco lights

Hands up: who has ever been asked to dance? (and I’m not talking a casual grind under the occasional flash of a strobe light)

Yeah – me neither.

This one seems to have been completely lost – we seem to have forgotten the innocence and the mystery of a real dance with a boy, not knowing what will happen or where it will lead. And I’d take the cute option over a not so delicate rave where you have to side-step pools of vodka (and tears) on the dance floor any day. So elegant.

Love letters

If there was a mailing list I could sign up to and have love letters sent to my door I would do it in a heartbeat. Arguably there is nothing remotely romantic about a robot spitting out carbon-copy letters to every sad single girl, but the idea of having something delivered and dropped through a mailbox is so magical and wonderful – and would definitely be Instragrammed in a second with a backdrop of candles and rose petals.

These old-fashioned romantic moments are too good to be lost on the modern world – and, if I’m being completely honest, I don’t want to be the guy who has to answer the “so how did you two meet?” conversation with “well, it all started with a swipe to the right on Tinder..”

I just miss the life some days,

Rev. G-

Reality in relationships.

Summertime is time to date!  People are eager to get out of the house, and there are lots of outdoor festivals, concerts, athletic, musical and other activities available to meet people.   But summer in the northeast is short, so you don't want to waste precious time pursuing someone  who isn't really interested in you or a relationship.  If you are a man, read the text as written.  If you are a woman just substitute the she's for he's and the he's for she's.

 

1.      It's hard to reach her by text or by phone.  She takes a long time to return your calls.  This is a subtle sign that she's not really interested in you, or she's afraid of or not really ready for a relationship.   If you want to create a relationship with someone, find a woman who is enthusiastic about being with you.

 

2.      She can't seem to find time to get together.  She may be an ambitious professional, or a divorcee with children.  No matter how much she says she'd like to have a relationship with someone, it's just not the highest priority in her life right now.  If you want to create a relationship with someone, find someone who makes time to be with you.

 

3.      She plays hard to get.  She runs hot and cold. Some women have been socialized tobelieve that they have to torment a man before he'll value her.  If he puts up with her and stays with her, it proves that he's the right man.  Don't play that game. Find someone who is nice to you. 

 

4.      She's not who you thought she was when you first started dating.  Most people start out a relationship trying to be on their best behavior. If your girlfriend was putting on an act to get you to like her, however, she won't be able to keep it up. Eventually her true personality will come out.  If her true personality and yours don't match up, move on.  Don't keep hoping that her act was the real her and wait for her to bring it back.

 

5.      She brings out the worst in you.  In a supportive, loving relationship, you should feel comfortable and happy around your girlfriend.  You want someone who brings out the best in you and doesn't hammer on your sore spots.  Instead, she will help you to soothe them, fix the problem, and if applicable, encourage you to heal and grow.  If you're dating someone with whom you seem to fight a lot and feel irritable, drained, defensive and never good enough, she's not for you.

 

6.      She's a damsel in distress, and you are her savior. If you meet someone who acts helpless, needy, and dependent or who is wounded or mentally ill, she needs support and therapy.  As much as you may like the idea of being her hero, you alone cannot save her.  That kind of relationship is not really a partnership, and gets old really fast.

 

7.      And finally, if you're still ignoring the signs, she cheats on you. There can be no love without trust.  Biologically, human beings pair bond for life. If she cheats on you, the trauma is so bad that it will break the connection.  Get some healing for the trauma and move on.  

 

 

 If you or anyone you know would like to get unstuck or minimize suffering. To learn more or schedule an appointment, call 575-644-2321.

  

Road Trip

While on a working vacation and traveling I was in a situation that brought me to a place within that I thought I had confronted and healed along time ago, yet, here it was again.  We decided to keep driving on the first day of our journey across country back home.  We drove late into the night and my back was burning, I was tired and getting more and more frustrated.  

Once we found a rest area, we made ourselves comfortable in the car, we fell right to sleep,

just exhausted from the many hours of driving.  

We slept unto morning and when we woke up I felt fine, actually felt great from sleeping deeply, I didn’t hear a sound.  All the other cars except one that were parked in the rest area for the night were gone, I never heard a thing.  We got out, used the facilities, walked our dog and then started driving again.  After a while I felt really grundy and started thinking about it from a different perspective when Gerald said to me, lesson one in being homeless.  I thought about that for a few minutes and started thinking of the many thousands of people who are homeless and whole families sleeping in their cars because something went very wrong in their lives and there was no where for them to turn.  

We had another long day of driving and decided to stay in a hotel that night so I started looking up hotels.  We were concerned about our money so I looked for a cheaper hotel.  I found one and when we got there it didn’t look to good.  However, we decided we were tired and needed to just stop driving.  We went to the room and it was not really good.  There was a hole in one of the blankets, it was kind of, sort of clean and the bathroom had a hole in the floor.  I was freaked to say the least.  Our hotel receipt said you could not get your money back once you paid with a credit card.  I was extremely concerned about many things.  We decided to make the best of the situation and took our showers which were wonderful actually.

We headed out to find some food and decided to stay very close to the hotel since we were so tired and really didn’t want to drive anywhere.  We found a truck stop diner and sat down.

It was not good and it was not bad, but it was good to eat because we did not eat since breakfast and it was after nine o’clock.

Later, Gerald and I talked about the hotel room and he said it was actually a place where the homeless could go when they got some money and have a good night sleep and shower.

There was a TV and gave comfort.  I felt really sad inside, my life has been complicated

since I left my career in 1992.  I have been blessed with work through my gifts and abilities,

people believing in me and my desire to do God’s work.  I have listened to the guidance that I receive every day of my life I think and I have always been taken care of.  Sometimes it has been so difficult accepting gifts from others, those who would volunteer and help support the work I do and receiving gifts to help me pay my bills and live a very wonderful life.

I reflected on this the rest of the trip as we traveled and had a most wonderful and happy journey.

The very best road trip and vacation ever...just great.

However, in the back of my mind I thought about the times I was so nervous I would end up homeless because of the financial difficulty that comes from working one client or one group at a time and serving God and not being paid.  There are many individuals who feel if you are a spiritual teacher, minister, servant of God, you should not be paid for your services.

Gerald realized that once he became an Ordained Minister, those who never questioned paying him for his advice and or guidance starting saying the same thing to him.
“You are a minister, so you should not expect to be paid for your service”...

It was true for me as well, just like Gerald we are psychics and mediums and always received pay for our services and once we were ordained, there were issues with some saying it was not correct because we worked for God.  

This left me in a situation I was not prepared for.  I didn’t charge the amount I had been charging,

I was having difficulty defining what was minister work and my other work, which is the same work really.  And left me in a struggle with my finances.

This led me to a hidden fear about becoming homeless some day and not being able to take care of myself.  I worked through it because the fact is, God takes care of us and the path we are on is the path we are on because that is where we are doing our soul work and learning to become what God had intended us to become.  There are no accidents or random acts in the universe and once I made peace with that my life opened up again.

On this trip though it stirred up something inside of me about my own life and although I am truly a grateful being, and I am always in prayer and thankfulness, there is more and more to learn for my soul about gratitude I am sure.  We live in a world of instant gratification and our children have begun to lose their humbleness and thankfulness just as we adults have.

We have so much in our world given to us and when someone does not give us something or wants an equal exchange for service feel offended and when someone does not have as much as another, they flaunt their lives in front of them.  We are a very spoiled society of

how much can I have and extremely wasteful...Extremely wasteful.

There is someone in my life that when you pay her what you owe her for something she has given or provided is so thankful that it has always touched my heart as an act of an angel.

So even though in my life, I have been grateful, I have learned to be more humble and learn accept gifts and pay them forward, there is yet more for me to do in my own life and so

I am thankful for the last part of our road trip because it was a gift to have this experience,

and as always, I am so thankful it was with Gerald my spiritual partner in this life.

May we all take a look at our lives and see how much better we can be, how much more we can do and what we can give back with a good and kind heart.  Many people have an issue talking about God these days, they have to say creator, spirit, goddess, I say “MY God”...

God, Goddess, All That There is in the Universe.  For my God is not religion, my God is my creator and the spirit that flows through me in all things and all that I know and shall become.

May you live your life with clarity in all things, moving towards the Enlightenment.  Our being a good Spiritual Being is just the beginning of our Illumination .... Our pathway is about Enlightenment of All That Is...Happy Journey from my heart to yours.

100 Days of Redefinement

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21 Things You Should Know About Using Essential Oils

These are the "Normal" or the standardized uses, and cautions. Be aware, that consulting your IPC or someone in the business, dependent on which oils that you get (Brand). There are many variances in quality. We use DoTerra Essential oils, and please feel free to ask questions. I have researched oils extensively, and through trial and error, so far use primarily the DoTerra Brand because they are listed as CPTG (Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade) Essential oils. Please check it out at: DoTerra Essential Oils

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Lord help me, people. I’ve spent the last two days trying to write a concise, easy guide to essential oils and their safety, and it ended up being just an enormous dump of information that no would want to ingest in a single blog post.

Therefore, you’re getting the quickest, easiest 21 facts you need to keep in mind. These things include safety measures, essential oil facts, therapeutic uses, and more. You’ll like this better. I promise.

However, at the end of this post, I am going to give extensive references to those of you who would like to learn more about the fascinating world of essential oils, as well as a list of my top 7 recommended essential oils for any household to have.

• Essential oils are not really oils. They do not contain the fatty acids that constitute what we would consider an actual oil. Valerie Gennari Cooksley, author of Aromatherapy: Soothing Remedies to Restore, Rejuvenate and Heal defines essential oils as “highly concentrated plant constituents possessing potent medicinal and cosmetic qualities.” However, I think Stephanie Tourles nailed it in Organic Body Care recipes when she said, “I consider essential oils the life force or the soul of the plant.”

• Most essential oils are high in antibacterial, antifungal, and antiviral properties: This makes them an excellent addition to your homemade cleaning preparations. Oils that are best for cleaning are: Lemon, grapefruit, eucalyptus, peppermint, tea tree, lavender, and rosemary.

• Essential oils are miniscule in molecular size, which means they are absorbed well by the skin – making them perfect ingredients in personal care items intended to heal, soften, and nourish. However, they do not accumulate in the body over time – they simply offer up their healing properties and then pass on through.

• Scientific studies have shown that rosemary essential oil helps your brain perform. Specifically, smelling rosemary essential oil helps memory recall and performance on tests. Interestingly, this study also showed that groups that inhaled either rosemary or lavender essential oil felt much more relaxed than those who inhaled no odor at all.

• Fragrance oils and essential oils are NOT the same thing. As a rule of thumb, if you see the word “fragrance” or “fragrance oil” or even “perfume” on anything, you can assume this is synthetic and NOT natural. (Even if it says natural fragrance.)

• Essential oils are wholly natural and cannot be patented; which means that you’ll never see an essential oil in a pharmaceutical drug. As such, you can expect that the vast majority of mainstream healthcare practitioners will never recommend essential oils as therapeutic alternatives to drugs. More importantly, because essential oils cannot be patented, drug companies will not waste money studying them. This limits our scientific knowledge of essential oils GREATLY, and the majority of what we know about them are things that have been passed down through thousands of years of personal use and experimentation.

• Enormous amounts of plants are needed to produce essential oil. In fact, on the extreme end, it takes 4000 pounds of Bulgarian roses to produce 1 pound of essential oil. Other plants like lavender only take 100 pounds of plant material to produce a pound of essential oil. Still, can you imagine how concentrated essential oils must be, in light of how many plants are used to produce them?

• Most essential oils should never be used undiluted on the skin. Instead, they should be combined with “real” oils (called carrier oils), waxes, butters, alcohols, or other diluting measures. Because they’re so concentrated, if you don’t dilute, you may end up with an unfortunate reaction (and unhappy skin).

• There are a few essential oils that are generally recognized as safe to use undiluted. Of course, there has to be a few exceptions to the rule. Again, in Organic Body Care Recipes, the author points out that the only essential oils that are widely acknowledged as safe to use undiluted (sparingly) are: lavender, German chamomile, tea tree, sandalwood, and rose geranium.

• Never use an undiluted essential oil on a baby or child. Children have much thinner, more delicate skin than adults have, and tend to be very sensitive to the potency of essential oils. In fact, even if you do use essential oil in a recipe for children, only use half of the essential oil recommended in the recipe. That’s all they’ll need, anyway. 

• Avoid the following essential oils while pregnant or nursing (and skip EOs completely in your first trimester): Aniseed, cedarwood, chamomile, cinnamon, clary sage, clove, ginger, jasmine, lemon, nutmeg, rosemary, sage (this is only a partial list of some of the more common essential oils).

• To test if you’re sensitive to an essential oil (which is probably best to do before using it in a skincare preparation): Combine one drop of essential oil with 1/2 tsp carrier oil (like olive, jojoba, or sweet almond). Rub this on the inside, upper portion of your arm and wait a few hours. If no redness or itching develops, you’re most likely not sensitive to that essential oil.

• Keep all essential oils out of the reach of children – and avoid contact with your eyes. This is just standard safety precautions, but must be mentioned.

• Do not take essential oils internally, especially oils like wintergreen and eucalyptus. While some essential oils may be used well-diluted in something like toothpaste with safety, it’s generally recognized that there’s no need to take essential oils internally. In fact, there are several toxic essential oils that should be avoided even through skin contact. Luckily, these are NOT common essential oils, and most of them you’ll never find in the store.

• Not all essential oils are created equally, nor does more expensive necessarily mean “better.” There are certain brands I will use in a less therapeutic fashion (like for cleaning), because they’re far less expensive than their counterparts. When you see a wide fluctuation in price between, say, lavender essential oils, you can bet that the far less expensive one is likely lower in quality. However, a small variation in price differences on the higher end will NOT mean a better essential oil. It will just mean a higher price. (A little birdie also told me that there are also only a handful of essential oil distilleries in the world, which means that most essential oils come from the exact same places – thus there is little difference in quality between the more “typically priced” EOs.) What I’m saying here is: Understand that you DO have to pay for quality, but that if you’re just using essential oils in non-therapeutic fashions, it’s okay to use less expensive oils. But if you want high quality, I suggest using DoTerra or another ethical supplier that offers organic essential oils (grown without pesticides or toxic fertilizers).

• To test your essential oil to see how “pure” it is, put a single drop of it on a piece of construction paper. If it evaporates quickly and leaves no noticeable ring, it is pure. If you have a ring left, then it is likely diluted by the manufacturer with an oil of some sort (this test will not work for myrrh, patchouli, and absolutes).

• Essential oils will last for at least 5 years (if not 10), so one bottle could literally last you a decade. Hopefully that thought will help mitigate the cost involved in purchasing some essential oils. Because they are SO concentrated and only a tiny amount is needed in anything you do, they’ll last you a very, very long time. The only exception to this rule is citrus oils, which will see a reduction in potency after a year or two.

• Store your essential oils in dark glass bottles (which they were probably packaged in) and out of direct sunlight. This is simply to help preserve their potency.

• Remember that what you’re allergic to in food, you will be allergic to in essential oils. So if, for some reason, you can’t eat sage without breaking out in a rash, steer clear of sage essential oil (or any product containing it).

• USE ESSENTIAL OILS TO HELP YOUR MOOD. Lavender, peppermint, grapefruit, chamomile, lemon, ylang-ylang all help produce happy, joyous moods. Clary sage helps with PMS (although there have been reports that overuse of clary sage can lead to intoxication). Rosemary increases focus and concentration. Don’t forget the mood benefits of essential oils. 

• The recommended usage of many essential oils is hotly contested throughout the aromatherapy profession. The majority of oils you find in the supermarket are absolutely safe (though you should research them before using them); however, once you start digging into the world of essential oils, you’ll find that professionals – even within the same organization – debate extensively over the use of certain oils. If you’re ever unsure about an oil or its use, do the research you can, and if you still cannot make up your mind as to its safety – avoid it. But, by all means, do NOT be afraid of essential oils. Just use them with care and respect, and all will be fine.

Recommended Essential Oils to Get You Started

“What essential oils do you recommend I buy?” is the number one question I receive.

It’s a tough one to answer, because what EOs you buy depends on what you’re going to use them for. Nonetheless, I’ve narrowed it down to 7 essential oils to consider when starting to use them in your personal care products or homemade cleaning supplies.

• Peppermint (good for lip balms, oily/acne skin, and cleaning products)
• Rosemary (good for hair preparations, oily/acne skin, and cleaning products)
• Sweet orange (good for all skin types and very soothing in room sprays for children)
• Rose geranium (good for all skin types, creating perfumes, and for use in homemade moisturizers)
• Tea tree (great for healing, getting rid of dandruff, oily/acneic skin, and cleaning products)
• Lavender (great for all skin types, for relaxation, hair preparations, and cleaning products)
• Lemon (great for lifting moods, cleaning preparations, and sparingly in toners and products for oily skin)

Want to Learn More About Aromatherapy and Essential Oils?

Here are some of my favorite references for learning more about how to safely and effectively use essential oils in skincare, aromatherapy, and cleaning products.

http://everythingessential.me/HealthConcerns/_HealthConcernIndex.html


 thank you and have a great day.

Gerald